I just want to share with you some of the things that I've been doing this month. Hopefully, I'll write a longer post in the next few days going into more detail of how I'm spending my Autism Awareness Month, but here's a short view.
First of all, this is the video I made. It was supposed to be done AGES ago, but I just haven't had the time or the oomph to get it done. But I got it done in time for World Autism Awareness Day. Please feel free to share this with others! I want everyone to see that Autism isn't such a horrible thing....it just is. But it something that needs to be understood and accepted. Ignorance helps no one.
Secondly, I contacted Parents Magazine's goody blog shortly before the start of the month. I wanted to know if they were doing their Voices Of Autism again this year like they have for the last couple of years. They told me that they weren't but they would be happy to accept a story from me. And here's what I sent them. My story was published today.
So, that's it, in a nutshell. I hope everyone is having a good start to Autism Awareness Month!
Friday, April 5, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Steadily Climbing........
My mind has been reeling for the last 24 hours or so.....since the latest numbers have come out regarding the prevalence of Autism in this country. Now they are saying that one in FIFTY school-age children are on the spectrum. Let's look at this another way.
- In 1995, the rate was 1 in 500.
- In 2001, it had increased to 1 in 250.
- In 2004, it had risen again to 1 in 166.
- In 2007, there was yet ANOTHER increase to 1 in 150.
- In 2009 (when our journey began), it was 1 in 110.
- In 2012, the shocking news was announced that it was now 1 in 88.
- Yesterday (2013), the newest announcement is that 1 in 50 school-age children are on the spectrum.
There are a few things about this latest study that has me doubting these numbers (at least the ones that were just announced). The survey that this statistic is based had a very poor response rate. It was also answered by parents as opposed to medical professionals. I'm not saying that parent reports cannot be trusted. However, it is more likely that parents of children on the spectrum would respond to this type of survey because (1) they want answers and (2) they want to share information, especially if they think that it may (in time) help their own children. In other words, if you were to call 100 parents to ask them questions about Autism and 90 said they couldn't talk to you, the remaining 10 are more likely to have children on the spectrum (or suspected as being on the spectrum) compared to the remaining 90 who wouldn't take the time.
There are flaws in the other direction about the survey that estimated 1 in 88 children were being diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. In that study, they only surveyed a small portion of the country (14 states). There were so many areas that were missed and not accounted for in those results.
I can honestly say that I don't believe that the true number is 1 in 50. But I also believe that the 1 in 88 is an underestimate. The true answer is probably somewhere between the two. Maybe 1 in 75 (my own blind guess -- please don't assume there is any validation behind this number), which is still appalling.
But there is one thing that cannot be denied, with several consequences. The numbers are going up, not down. The need for services is growing, not shrinking. These children will grow up and become adults with an Autism Spectrum Disorder diagnosis who may require additional services to allow them to live independently or, if that isn't possible, for them to be productive members of society and to be cared for. They can't be swept under the table. They need their voices to be heard, even if they are unable to use their voices directly. We cannot ignore this problem. And we can't allow others to ignore the problem. We need to speak up and out for our kids. We need to be sure that as these children grow, they will have the supports they need so that they can contribute in whatever way suits them.
These are individuals. They are people. And they have a stumbling block to overcome.
We need to be sure that they are given all of the tools they need so that they can succeed.
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Two Posts
Since I haven't been able to get writing here, I wanted to share a couple of posts of mine that were published elsewhere this week (one on Monday, one on Tuesday).
The first one is "Laundry is a Metaphor". This was published on Monday on the SPD Blogger Network written when I realized that, no matter how hard I tried, I can't seem to get things done. I have a tendency to take on more and more roles and, at the end of the day, there is still more to be done.
The second one is "Why We Must Remain HOPEful Parents" on Hopeful Parents. I write posts for this page every month on the 19th of the month. This is the story of what happened to me a few years ago. I've told this story before, but I can't seem to let it go. And every once in a while, I need to remind myself how important it is to trust myself.
So, I have been writing. But for some reason, I haven't really been able to get things up here. Hopefully that will go away soon.
The first one is "Laundry is a Metaphor". This was published on Monday on the SPD Blogger Network written when I realized that, no matter how hard I tried, I can't seem to get things done. I have a tendency to take on more and more roles and, at the end of the day, there is still more to be done.
The second one is "Why We Must Remain HOPEful Parents" on Hopeful Parents. I write posts for this page every month on the 19th of the month. This is the story of what happened to me a few years ago. I've told this story before, but I can't seem to let it go. And every once in a while, I need to remind myself how important it is to trust myself.
So, I have been writing. But for some reason, I haven't really been able to get things up here. Hopefully that will go away soon.
Tuesday, March 12, 2013
Happy Anniversary
4 years.....
Clearly on the spectrum.....
Severe Autism.....
Respite Question....yes or no.....
IEPs, CAPP, PEP, MPAC......
ADHD, POTS, Anxiety.......
Learning Center, Home School Model, Mainstream.....
Medication Question....yes or no......
Yup.....4 years ago today, on March 12, 2009, we realized that the world we were living in was "The Autism World" when a doctor announced to me like it was a given that both of my 26 month old twins were "clearly on the spectrum". I don't know if she realized that she was the first person who told us this, or anything even close to it. I don't know if she realized the bomb that she had just dropped on my head.
At that point we had already contacted our local Early Intervention organization (MCITP) and were scheduled for an evaluation for services. I had mentioned that an Autism work-up would probably be the way to go, but I asked for help with language development. I was blind (well, mostly blind) to all of the other things that were going on.
We changed schools when they turned 3 and went through that transition. I struggled to come to terms with separating them on their 3rd birthday when I had planned on keeping them together through kindergarten (a dream I had for the two of them). I even had someone tell me that they would never enter an academic college bound track given their preschool placements.
Just this last year we had a transition to kindergarten. The year started with difficulties getting Ballerina adjusted to a one-on-one special education classroom to a mainstream classroom with 16 other classmates. Additionally, she had her typical summer regression which made it difficult to determine whether her placement is appropriate or if she just needed more time. For Music Man, for the first time I really started noticing how many problems he was having. I'm not sure if I was simply blind to them before or if things have been getting steadily worse.
Now they are both medicated. We have seen a great improvement with Ballerina as most of her issues have been focused-based. And she is making friends. She has extra curricular activities in dance, gymnastics and girl scouts. She's going to birthday parties and enjoying her kindergarten year. Music Man, well, we just started. Time will tell. But he's wising up to the fact that something is hidden in that applesauce and he's starting to balk at eating it.
Who knows what the next year holds? It's been a HUGE roller coaster.....and not the one I was planning on riding. But sometimes things happen and you have to roll with it.
I think I have 3 AMAZING kiddos. 2 of them are "Clearly on the Spectrum". That's the way it is. And we've reached the point where we can't imagine it any other way.
My kids don't need "fixing". They just need to figure out where they fit and how to make that twists and turns so that the piece will fit into the whole.
(small side note.....this is also post #300 on this blog)
Clearly on the spectrum.....
Severe Autism.....
Respite Question....yes or no.....
IEPs, CAPP, PEP, MPAC......
ADHD, POTS, Anxiety.......
Learning Center, Home School Model, Mainstream.....
Medication Question....yes or no......
Yup.....4 years ago today, on March 12, 2009, we realized that the world we were living in was "The Autism World" when a doctor announced to me like it was a given that both of my 26 month old twins were "clearly on the spectrum". I don't know if she realized that she was the first person who told us this, or anything even close to it. I don't know if she realized the bomb that she had just dropped on my head.
At that point we had already contacted our local Early Intervention organization (MCITP) and were scheduled for an evaluation for services. I had mentioned that an Autism work-up would probably be the way to go, but I asked for help with language development. I was blind (well, mostly blind) to all of the other things that were going on.
We changed schools when they turned 3 and went through that transition. I struggled to come to terms with separating them on their 3rd birthday when I had planned on keeping them together through kindergarten (a dream I had for the two of them). I even had someone tell me that they would never enter an academic college bound track given their preschool placements.
Just this last year we had a transition to kindergarten. The year started with difficulties getting Ballerina adjusted to a one-on-one special education classroom to a mainstream classroom with 16 other classmates. Additionally, she had her typical summer regression which made it difficult to determine whether her placement is appropriate or if she just needed more time. For Music Man, for the first time I really started noticing how many problems he was having. I'm not sure if I was simply blind to them before or if things have been getting steadily worse.
Now they are both medicated. We have seen a great improvement with Ballerina as most of her issues have been focused-based. And she is making friends. She has extra curricular activities in dance, gymnastics and girl scouts. She's going to birthday parties and enjoying her kindergarten year. Music Man, well, we just started. Time will tell. But he's wising up to the fact that something is hidden in that applesauce and he's starting to balk at eating it.
Who knows what the next year holds? It's been a HUGE roller coaster.....and not the one I was planning on riding. But sometimes things happen and you have to roll with it.
I think I have 3 AMAZING kiddos. 2 of them are "Clearly on the Spectrum". That's the way it is. And we've reached the point where we can't imagine it any other way.
My kids don't need "fixing". They just need to figure out where they fit and how to make that twists and turns so that the piece will fit into the whole.
(small side note.....this is also post #300 on this blog)
Monday, March 11, 2013
Decisions Made
Music Man is now on medication. Yup. I said I wouldn't do it unless I felt it was necessary. I put up every possible barrier I could think of to make sure I didn't have to do something to change my children. But now, both of my twins are medicated.
Ballerina has been on Focalin for some time now. To say that it solves all of her problems wouldn't be accurate. But it does attenuate so many of her impulses which allows her to focus and learn. We recently increased her Focalin dose (doubling it, in effect, but that's only because you can only increase it by 5mg increments and she was only receiving 5mg/day). I really don't directly see the effect of the Focalin. She only receives it when she has school (benefit of a steroid -- when it's in her system, it works but you don't need to maintain a level so she can have "time off"). But her teacher is telling me that she is noticing more attentive behavior, especially while on the carpet. She comes out of school generally happy and I see the progress in the work she brings home as well as the way she handles her homework. I'm still walking her through it all, but I'm supposed to be. She's getting the idea as the year has been progressing.
Music Man on the other hand, didn't have an ADHD diagnosis. Until this year, I really wasn't hearing much about his attention problems. But this school year, I am daily getting reports that he is "out of location". He is requiring almost one-on-one in order to get him to complete a task. He's become more and more self-willed with more and more anxieties that have been coming to light. When we saw the developmental specialist in October, she had brought up the possibility of prescribing Strattera, and non-steroid ADHD medication that also seems to help children with anxieties. But at the time, I didn't think this was necessary. I didn't think that his attention issues were that severe, and his anxieties were more of a concern but I didn't want to give him an ADHD medication if this wasn't much of a concern. I didn't realize what was going on.
For the last 4 months, I've been watching my son struggle. I've been seeing him perseverate on the things that cause him anxiety (specifically, elevators). I've been seeing the reports coming home from school every day that elopement has become an issue once again (this resolved before the winter). I'm watching him struggle every day. It was so bad one day about a month ago.....I was in the school doing some volunteer work (I'm there every Tuesday) and I hear him screaming. His screaming is so loud that he literally empties the office because they are looking to see what is wrong with this child. The problem was that he had to walk past an elevator to get from his classroom to the music classroom (and he has to pass this elevator several times a week to get to specials). After trying for several minutes, they actually took him outside to get between the two doors so they could avoid having him walk past the elevator. They did make him successfully walk past the elevator to return to the classroom and it was a one-time thing (once they knew the severity of the problem, they started implementing strategies), but this was a slap in the face to me, showing me how bad things really are. It was this that made me realize that we need to do something.
So, on Tuesday evening, Music Man began Strattera. We have now increased the dose from 10 to 18 mg as we are stepping our way up to 40mg. We were told that we shouldn't see much of an effect for 4-6 weeks. Every morning, Music Man has a couple of spoonfuls of applesauce. What he doesn't know is that inside the applesauce is Strattera powder that I get from opening the capsules. His teacher told me late last week that he seemed to be a little more manageable in terms of his anxieties, but they weren't seeing any changes with the attention issues. But his teacher is familiar with Strattera and that it takes time to reach full effectiveness.
So, now we have 2 children on very different medication. One of the things that I'm terrified of is mixing up which child gets which medication. They take it at the same time, but in very different ways. And, even opened up, there is an appearance difference between the two. Ballerina has her Focalin mixed with chocolate pudding. Music Man has his mixed with applesauce. Like I said....very different. But they get their medicine early in the day, before I've had anything to ensure I'm awake (i.e. coffee). Hopefully that will never happen.
Living life through chemistry.....that's us!
Ballerina has been on Focalin for some time now. To say that it solves all of her problems wouldn't be accurate. But it does attenuate so many of her impulses which allows her to focus and learn. We recently increased her Focalin dose (doubling it, in effect, but that's only because you can only increase it by 5mg increments and she was only receiving 5mg/day). I really don't directly see the effect of the Focalin. She only receives it when she has school (benefit of a steroid -- when it's in her system, it works but you don't need to maintain a level so she can have "time off"). But her teacher is telling me that she is noticing more attentive behavior, especially while on the carpet. She comes out of school generally happy and I see the progress in the work she brings home as well as the way she handles her homework. I'm still walking her through it all, but I'm supposed to be. She's getting the idea as the year has been progressing.
Music Man on the other hand, didn't have an ADHD diagnosis. Until this year, I really wasn't hearing much about his attention problems. But this school year, I am daily getting reports that he is "out of location". He is requiring almost one-on-one in order to get him to complete a task. He's become more and more self-willed with more and more anxieties that have been coming to light. When we saw the developmental specialist in October, she had brought up the possibility of prescribing Strattera, and non-steroid ADHD medication that also seems to help children with anxieties. But at the time, I didn't think this was necessary. I didn't think that his attention issues were that severe, and his anxieties were more of a concern but I didn't want to give him an ADHD medication if this wasn't much of a concern. I didn't realize what was going on.
For the last 4 months, I've been watching my son struggle. I've been seeing him perseverate on the things that cause him anxiety (specifically, elevators). I've been seeing the reports coming home from school every day that elopement has become an issue once again (this resolved before the winter). I'm watching him struggle every day. It was so bad one day about a month ago.....I was in the school doing some volunteer work (I'm there every Tuesday) and I hear him screaming. His screaming is so loud that he literally empties the office because they are looking to see what is wrong with this child. The problem was that he had to walk past an elevator to get from his classroom to the music classroom (and he has to pass this elevator several times a week to get to specials). After trying for several minutes, they actually took him outside to get between the two doors so they could avoid having him walk past the elevator. They did make him successfully walk past the elevator to return to the classroom and it was a one-time thing (once they knew the severity of the problem, they started implementing strategies), but this was a slap in the face to me, showing me how bad things really are. It was this that made me realize that we need to do something.
So, on Tuesday evening, Music Man began Strattera. We have now increased the dose from 10 to 18 mg as we are stepping our way up to 40mg. We were told that we shouldn't see much of an effect for 4-6 weeks. Every morning, Music Man has a couple of spoonfuls of applesauce. What he doesn't know is that inside the applesauce is Strattera powder that I get from opening the capsules. His teacher told me late last week that he seemed to be a little more manageable in terms of his anxieties, but they weren't seeing any changes with the attention issues. But his teacher is familiar with Strattera and that it takes time to reach full effectiveness.
So, now we have 2 children on very different medication. One of the things that I'm terrified of is mixing up which child gets which medication. They take it at the same time, but in very different ways. And, even opened up, there is an appearance difference between the two. Ballerina has her Focalin mixed with chocolate pudding. Music Man has his mixed with applesauce. Like I said....very different. But they get their medicine early in the day, before I've had anything to ensure I'm awake (i.e. coffee). Hopefully that will never happen.
Living life through chemistry.....that's us!
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Answers.....or More Questions......
Things with Music Man have been falling apart since the start of the year. Well, it started earlier than that, but it's come to a head since the return from Winter Break. I had discussed with his developmental pediatrician back in October about the possibility of introducing Strattera and beginning the process of medicating him, but I was opposed to the idea. The reason she suggested this particular medication was because of how it helped children cope with Anxieties in addition to attention issues. But nothing was severe enough to justify medication.
Now they are.
Every day when Music Man's teacher would walk him to the car, there would be another story. He had a serious breakdown because of this. He's obsessing over the elevators. Things were so bad walking past the elevator in the school to get to Music special (he also has to walk past it to get to Media [aka Library] and Computer Lab) that they had to take him out of the school because he was just so bothered. He screamed to the point where he was emptying the school office and teachers were coming out to find out who was so upset and why. And all because he had to walk past an elevator. And now, earlier this week there was a fire drill and he's starting to obsess about that. Elevators are getting under control.....he's found his new obsession. He won't remain in his seat and attend to any of his teachers (regardless of the motivation). He has his rote skills but is having a hard time growing further because he can't attend. Elopement into the other kindergarten classrooms is a problem. He's showing no interest in interacting with his peers. We have taken so many positive steps forward. Now it feels like every day we're taking steps backwards.
This needs to stop.
This resulted in me calling for an IEP Meeting (which took place today). This is the first time I felt I needed to call for a meeting because of a problem for more than a few minutes (there have been times where I considered it, but never to the point where I actually sat down and wrote the email). When the packet of information came home with what had been going on, it was simply HUGE! There was a new (proposed) behavior plan. I realized my suspicions were right....his teacher by telling me all of the problems in the classroom, was hinting that we needed to get together.
I'm happy to report that it wasn't all bad news. Some of the strategies that they've been implementing have been successful. But it looks like he needs more than just strategies to cope......there's something not right biochemically (I believe). Autism does not necessarily require medication, but when the consequences of Autism (such as ADHD, OCD and Anxiety) come into play, you need to consider your options. I never told our doctor that I WOULDN'T medicate him.....I just didn't feel it was right when we were there in October. Now that it's late February, I realize that the time has come.
We see her next week. We'll find out what she has to say. But now, I have some more information to share with her. I have the behavior reports and the progress reports from his IEP and his teachers. It's time to discuss what we need to do to help my son. Medication has helped Ballerina to succeed. Now we need to consider what we need to do to help Music Man succeed as well.
There's too much potential there to allow his anxieties to cause it to all go to waste.
Now they are.
Every day when Music Man's teacher would walk him to the car, there would be another story. He had a serious breakdown because of this. He's obsessing over the elevators. Things were so bad walking past the elevator in the school to get to Music special (he also has to walk past it to get to Media [aka Library] and Computer Lab) that they had to take him out of the school because he was just so bothered. He screamed to the point where he was emptying the school office and teachers were coming out to find out who was so upset and why. And all because he had to walk past an elevator. And now, earlier this week there was a fire drill and he's starting to obsess about that. Elevators are getting under control.....he's found his new obsession. He won't remain in his seat and attend to any of his teachers (regardless of the motivation). He has his rote skills but is having a hard time growing further because he can't attend. Elopement into the other kindergarten classrooms is a problem. He's showing no interest in interacting with his peers. We have taken so many positive steps forward. Now it feels like every day we're taking steps backwards.
This needs to stop.
This resulted in me calling for an IEP Meeting (which took place today). This is the first time I felt I needed to call for a meeting because of a problem for more than a few minutes (there have been times where I considered it, but never to the point where I actually sat down and wrote the email). When the packet of information came home with what had been going on, it was simply HUGE! There was a new (proposed) behavior plan. I realized my suspicions were right....his teacher by telling me all of the problems in the classroom, was hinting that we needed to get together.
I'm happy to report that it wasn't all bad news. Some of the strategies that they've been implementing have been successful. But it looks like he needs more than just strategies to cope......there's something not right biochemically (I believe). Autism does not necessarily require medication, but when the consequences of Autism (such as ADHD, OCD and Anxiety) come into play, you need to consider your options. I never told our doctor that I WOULDN'T medicate him.....I just didn't feel it was right when we were there in October. Now that it's late February, I realize that the time has come.
We see her next week. We'll find out what she has to say. But now, I have some more information to share with her. I have the behavior reports and the progress reports from his IEP and his teachers. It's time to discuss what we need to do to help my son. Medication has helped Ballerina to succeed. Now we need to consider what we need to do to help Music Man succeed as well.
There's too much potential there to allow his anxieties to cause it to all go to waste.
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
Repost: It's The Little Things
This is a post I wrote for my monthly posting on Hopeful Parents. However, since it's my own work, I thought I'd post it here because (1) I haven't posted in a while and (2) it just seems like it belongs here as well. And it sums up a lot that I've been going through these past few days.
---------------------------------------
On Friday afternoon, I stepped outside to take Big Brother to his gymnastics class. There was a very pleasant smell outside.....like someone had lit a bonfire or just simply a wood fire in their fireplace. Being a bit of a flame-o-phile, I took in a deep breath before starting to pile my children into the car.
Then I heard the siren. And it was close. And I suddenly realized that the smell of this fire that I was enjoying smelled like it was right on top of me. If it was a bonfire or a fire in a fireplace, it would have to be a distance away....but this one wasn't. I saw a neighbor outside and said that that it sounded close. He pointed behind me and I saw the smoke pouring out behind another neighbor's house.
Later that night, I read on Facebook a comment that the house was burning again. I responded to the post and sent the writer a private message and learned that the house was for a fellow parent of a few children who attend the school my children attend down the street. I know this Mom for she is a fellow volunteer at the school. She lives in this house with her family, including 5 children. My heart simply broke.
Fortunately, no one was hurt. The mother was out when the first blaze occurred with the two younger children and the 3 older kids were able to get out of the house without injury of any kind. But by the time the second blaze was out, all of their possessions had been destroyed or damaged beyond repair.
What if this had been MY family and MY house? It was a regular fire, believed to be started by a clothes dryer. Our dryer is running almost daily. Two of my children are Autistic. If we were in this situation, would they panic? Would I be able to make sure they got out of the house safely? What about my dog? And what would I do if, assuming we all did get out without injury, if I were to lose all of the items that mean so much to me?
Some of the parents from our school and neighborhood have been doing all that we can to help this family get through this difficult time. We are setting up some home cooked meals to be delivered to them at the hotel where their insurance is providing to them. We are also donating food, clothing, and toys for the children as well as gift cards to some local stores so they can get through these next couple of months until their home is ready for them to move back in. I'm one of the organizers. People keep thanking me for doing this.
But I am not doing this just to help a neighbor or a friend. I'm doing this because I'm a human being. I'm doing this because, G-d forbid, if I was in this situation, I would want someone to do this for me. I would want someone to help me figure out how to shoulder some of the burden. I would want someone to help make my life seem a much happier thing than what I'm sure I'd be facing in my own mind.
I'm not an altruistic person. I'm a selfish individual. But sometimes, when the situation arises, they are one and the same thing.
---------------------------------------
On Friday afternoon, I stepped outside to take Big Brother to his gymnastics class. There was a very pleasant smell outside.....like someone had lit a bonfire or just simply a wood fire in their fireplace. Being a bit of a flame-o-phile, I took in a deep breath before starting to pile my children into the car.
Then I heard the siren. And it was close. And I suddenly realized that the smell of this fire that I was enjoying smelled like it was right on top of me. If it was a bonfire or a fire in a fireplace, it would have to be a distance away....but this one wasn't. I saw a neighbor outside and said that that it sounded close. He pointed behind me and I saw the smoke pouring out behind another neighbor's house.
Later that night, I read on Facebook a comment that the house was burning again. I responded to the post and sent the writer a private message and learned that the house was for a fellow parent of a few children who attend the school my children attend down the street. I know this Mom for she is a fellow volunteer at the school. She lives in this house with her family, including 5 children. My heart simply broke.
Fortunately, no one was hurt. The mother was out when the first blaze occurred with the two younger children and the 3 older kids were able to get out of the house without injury of any kind. But by the time the second blaze was out, all of their possessions had been destroyed or damaged beyond repair.
What if this had been MY family and MY house? It was a regular fire, believed to be started by a clothes dryer. Our dryer is running almost daily. Two of my children are Autistic. If we were in this situation, would they panic? Would I be able to make sure they got out of the house safely? What about my dog? And what would I do if, assuming we all did get out without injury, if I were to lose all of the items that mean so much to me?
Some of the parents from our school and neighborhood have been doing all that we can to help this family get through this difficult time. We are setting up some home cooked meals to be delivered to them at the hotel where their insurance is providing to them. We are also donating food, clothing, and toys for the children as well as gift cards to some local stores so they can get through these next couple of months until their home is ready for them to move back in. I'm one of the organizers. People keep thanking me for doing this.
But I am not doing this just to help a neighbor or a friend. I'm doing this because I'm a human being. I'm doing this because, G-d forbid, if I was in this situation, I would want someone to do this for me. I would want someone to help me figure out how to shoulder some of the burden. I would want someone to help make my life seem a much happier thing than what I'm sure I'd be facing in my own mind.
I'm not an altruistic person. I'm a selfish individual. But sometimes, when the situation arises, they are one and the same thing.
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